"Where Your Search Ends & The Connection Begins"


May 8

Do You Want to Have Your Cake and Eat It Too?

Posted by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

If a man tells a woman he only wants to be friends, why will he still show interest insinuating that he wants to be something more? Unfortunately this is a very common tactic not only used by men but women as well.


A lot of people want to have their cake and eat it too but as most of us know, it is very hard to do this. Someone will always benefit while the other person involved is losing out on something they really want. As you have seen in movies such as “No Strings Attached” and “Friends with Benefits,” once a friendship turns physical, emotions get involved and things become complicated.


Though men are looked upon as being physical beings, the idea of being physical with “your friend” still complicates the situation. Men may be physical but never like when things are turned around on them. Being physical is a man’s weakness in this type of situation. From a male’s perspective, if his female friend whom he has been dealing with physically, grows annoyed and decides to walk away from the situation to be in a real relationship, the levels of jealousy will gradually grow. The comfort level that he once had with her will no longer exist and without a comfort level, what will he have to go back to; not a friendship.


For women the trouble is in the emotional aspect. She treats you as if you were her boyfriend, does all the things a girlfriend would do but instead of stopping her, you continue to reap from the benefits. When she questions you about your status or what’s going on between you two, you hit her with the same line, “we’re just friends.”  For women, since they are emotional, when they love or care for someone they usually give their all. Once her emotions are tainted with you, being a friend has gone out the window and though she may say “you’re still friends,” the friendship will not be the same.


Less than or More than


So ask yourself, is it less than a relationship or more than a friendship? And if you’re still questioning yourself, it may be time to walk away.



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