"Where Your Search Ends & The Connection Begins"

Blog

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

PUFF, Where did you go?…..

Posted on: June 16th, 2017 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

 

woman diaappearing

(Warning: Motivating but real!!!)

 

At first, it seemed like a fairy tale. Romantic dates, long phone conversations, a beautiful ring, a gorgeous wedding, and a home you loved. He completely changed your life: new friends, new activities, new restaurants, even a new zip code. You did almost everything he suggested because it made you happy to make him happy. But now, despite your best efforts, your relationship is in trouble. You have no idea how you got so far off track and no clue how to figure out what’s best for you. You aren’t even sure who you are anymore.

 

Here are a few ways to find you again!!!

 

#1.  If you’re still in the relationship, talk to your partner. If you believe that your own needs and preferences consistently take a backseat to your partner’s, your first step should be to share your concerns with him. Remember, nothing will change if you don’t voice your feelings, which your partner might not be aware of. His response will tell you a lot about the current health (and perhaps the future) of your relationship. 

 

You may be worried that stating your position will offend your partner or drive him away. But that’s a risk you have to take for the sake of your own mental and emotional well-being. The best case scenario is, of course, that your partner makes a conscious effort to meet you halfway and invest more in your interests and priorities. If that’s not what happens, though, you may need to reconsider the relationship.

 

#2. Stop walking on egg shells your partner. eggshells walking

If you’re in a relationship, the idea of ending it can be incredibly painful. So consciously or unconsciously, you may find yourself fixating on your partner’s positive qualities and downplaying his hurtful or unhealthy behaviors. Even after the relationship has ended, you might look back with nostalgia.

 

But it’s important to be honest about that person’s flaws. Otherwise, you run the risk of believing that your partner is perfect and blaming all of the relationship’s problems on yourself, which can be fatal to your self-esteem.

 

#3. Pay attention to how you’re feeling. In our hectic, mile-a-minute, on-the-go world, many of us are so busy and preoccupied that we don’t take the time to really check in with ourselves and how we’re feeling. Too often, it takes a major event (a health scare, an anxiety attack, or “yes!”the dissolution of a relationship) to wake us up to the fact that our lives are unhealthy and off track.

 

That’s why it’s so important to keep your finger on the pulse of your emotions and intuition. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, get into the habit of asking yourself, How does this mesh with my values? Am I honoring myself and my goals? Am I being authentic, or am I calibrating my words and actions to please someone else? When you’re more in tune with yourself, you’ll be in a position to make small adjustments when you first notice that you’re feeling off,  making it much less likely that you’ll wake up one day wondering, How did I get to this place, and what happened to my life?

 

#4. Making the cut. Ignoring a bad situation or a less-than-ideal reality won’t make it go away. If you’ve lost yourself in love, sooner or later you’ll have to make hard decisions like:

 

sissors

Do I move out? Is this relationship officially over? Should I cut off contact? If hanging on isn’t healthy, be honest with yourself. Remember, your long-term well-being may require (and is worth!) short-term pain.

 

#5. Stay close to (or reconnect with) your family and friends. When you lose yourself in love, it’s common to drift away from family and friends. Maybe you’ve been focused primarily on your partner and haven’t invested much in other people, or perhaps you’ve purposefully put distance between yourself and loved ones who questioned the wisdom of your relationship. Whatever the reason, it’s time to reconnect and repair any damage that’s been done.

 

The people who love you and who have known you for years will keep you grounded and remind you of who you are!!!

 

#6. Be full of yourself–It’s all about you. date yourself

 

Start doing activities solo, too! Go grocery shopping, see a movie, take a walk in the park, or go to a worship service with only yourself.  If you want to reclaim your life after losing yourself in love, you must learn to be confident and comfortable on your own.

 

OK… enough of the uplifting….food for the soul. Lets get down to the Nitty- Gritty!!!!

 

#7The number (seven) in biblical terms means: completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things.

 

Now its time to …DATE LIKE YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND….. Become a player of the game and not subject to the game…  Date the not so attractive singles, cute singles, singles with one leg, 4 eyed singles, wealthy singles, broke singles, corny singles..

 

Bring them on…… Remember this is a selfish act, which is all about you, not anyone else. However, you must be honest with anyone you meet, that you are just going out to have fun. NO feelings, No connection and No remorse. 

 

The point of serial dating is not about finding a mate, but will do 3 things:

a) Kick lonely’s butt…. kick lonley butt

 

b) It will make you get beautified…. beauty in you

 

c) Makes time fly by…..time flying

 

You deserve this; and never fill guilty about-making it all about you.. Besides, remember God will bring you the best, so, in the meantime while your dating (HAVE FUN). If someone is the “one” he will surely reveal himself..

 

These tools and experiences will force you to stand on your own two feet, give you the tools to live instead of just exist, and to focus on and invest in yourself.

 

You are already equipped with everything you need and if you need us, we are always here, so just do!!!!

 

Straight & Honest talk with a former exotic dancer-Now Executive and Ready to Become a Wife

Posted on: September 4th, 2014 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

stipper

Uncensored Interview:

 

 

Straight & Honest talk with a former exotic dancer – now making strides as a professional executive and ready to become a wife.

 

 

How did you become a stripper?

When I turned 18, my top priority was to “grow up” and become independent as soon as possible. To me, true independence meant never having to ask my parents for money — though they were more than willing to provide it. I had small job at little store, and I got a scholarship to help with my tuition, but living in the city was not cheap for a single woman. My meager income wasn’t nearly enough to survive on, and it drove me nuts. I felt so disillusioned and trapped. Just before my 19th birthday, I saw an ad for an “amateur night” contest at a local strip club. I’d always been a pretty repressed young lady — perfect grades, respectable hobbies, never so much as a parking ticket — but something about the idea of exotic dancing captivated my imagination.

 

 

How did stripping effect your ideas about sexuality and commitment?

Stripping taught me that “chemistry” — for lack of a better word — can explode in very unlikely pairings. To this day, my strongest friendships with men fall into that gray zone between “I want to know you” and “I want to sleep with you.” Learning to feel comfortable in that zone, without having to put a label on it, was a big part of my coming-out process.

 

 

You have professional career now. How did you make the extreme transition?

Like many young people finding their way, I have worked many jobs as an assistant producer at an independent film company, got a research grant to study alternative medicine and doctor-patient relationships, earned my helicopter pilots license, read voraciously and developed a writing “voice.” Once I made the commitment to complete my undergraduate degree, I went full-throttle, taking extra courses during regular semesters and squeezing in even more credits during winter and summer school sessions. I wound up graduating with my BA at the exact same time as my high school friends — even though I’d taken a significant “detour!”

 

 

 Do you regret your past?

I honestly have no regrets. Every intricate part of my past whether good or bad has made me the strong, independent, woman I am today. I have developed a distinct way of handling various personalities, a firm voice in leadership & good decision making. This has empowered me to take the appropriate actions needed on a daily basis in a crucial role, in order to strategically manage my business sector.   

 

 

How do you explain your past to a potential mate?

I believe, I use the no hold punches approach to dating. If the relationship develops after a period of time and the gentleman has earned the honor of knowing my history, I have no problem with sharing. If he is the one, and we are meant to be together, then being truthful and honest about what I want & need in a relationship as well as my past would be no problem. I just look forward to meeting the man of my dreams, in the meantime, I’m just focused on preparing myself for him in every aspect of my life.

 

 

Share your thoughts?

Nights

Posted on: September 6th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

couplesinthefall

Nights like these my mind wanders about the relationship

The relationship that pushed me to the brink 

My emotions have diminished but they are far from gone

I find myself relating my life to the words of every slow song that plays on the quiet storm

But truthfully I just want my life back but the though of you being in my future is far from gone and no part of me would deny it

My heart deepens at every sound that reminds me of you, your beauty, your laughter and your smile

As I listen to a song with no words my mind speaks loud and clear, letting my know that love is not only a verb but a process that goes on

Though I wish I could find an end to this song of no words because it has been in my head for far too long.

Levels of Respect

Posted on: August 31st, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

change

 

 

Trent Shelton, a motivational speaker presented the topic on men and women and the levels of respect.

 

“Men let’s stop disrespecting women and women let’s stop disrespecting men. All men and women aren’t bad, it’s just the ones you choose to date. Not saying it’s ok for someone to break your heart but you should be mindful of the type  of person you choose to give your heart to.”

 

 

Many would say the overall concept and definition of dating has definitely change and a lot of ways are not traditional. With the continuous  growth of technology and resources such as matchmakers, dating websites and online dating. With these changes or even when traditionally dating, people tend to fall in one type of category or are drawn to the same thing which can lead to the same results, disrespect being one of them.

 

 

Rather people want to believe it or not change can be intimidating which is why they usually go for what they know, it’s obtainable, predictable and safe. At times we rather be comfortable instead of accepting change  but expect different results . Instead of going after what your heart desires and wants try giving it something in needs. It may not be what your use and may be something different but at times change is needed to make things better.

 

 

 

Are you ready to accept change?

Kamikaze

Posted on: July 11th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

6438012f_couples-lovers-proposing-dark-photography (2)

 

 

Kamikaze love….

 

 

In too deep from the jump

 

 

I have placed my all, my everything

 

 

Laid out for us both

 

 

 

I just want you to see the feelings that lie deep inside of a tough shell

 

 

 

I want you to know everything because this is my last and final love

 

 

 

If I’m diving in there is not coming back

 

 

 

Either we stay here together or I’ll disappear forever

 

 

 

No more breakups to makeups

 

 

 

I’m done with wanting and yearning

 

 

 

I love loving you, I love us but if it ever ends

 

 

 

 

There is no more love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-C.Johnson

Life Partners

Posted on: July 9th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

LifePartner

 

Most people that you know want a life partner but how will they know when they have found that special someone?

 

Do you feel being in love automatically presents you with your life partner  or is it a stepping stool to work on the idea? There is nothing wrong with wanting a successful relationship, having certain preferences or dealing with the likes and dislike of a relationship but by finding a life partner can bring a balance and compliments within it.

 

Is it the feeling, emotions and rush of excitement when you’re around them or the emptiness, loneliness and want, when you’re not around them. As most emotions are, love itself can easily be one of the most confusing concepts to deal with because there are so many variables. Falling in love or out of love is easier than one would think but finding someone to be with for the rest of your life takes more time than most think. There’s a difference between loving someone, being in love with them and choosing to spend the rest of your life with them because even marriages at times  are broken before death do you part.

 

Though fairy tales and love stories on the movie screens look and sound nice. there is no complete truth in how “true love” is found. True love has its ups and downs but within those challenges people are able to find what they are looking for in their significant others. Within the process of finding a life partner one should experience the journey to do so because it will not just appear in front of your eyes or drop from the sky.

 

 

 

-C.Johnson

Taking the Lead

Posted on: June 22nd, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

female lead

 

 

Men are usually looked upon for being the initiator and taking control. Whether it is a date, number exchange or an encounter toward having sex, men are constantly placed in that dominant role. So what happens if there was a twist on taking control, leaving roles to be reversed. Men, If women began taking the lead would you be as receptive or would you feel out of place?

 

 

As a female when you are interested in a man and want to go out on a date, more than likely you are waiting for him to make that step to ask you out. Even if a woman gives a hint as to what she wants, the man will more than likely be looked to take the initiating role. With changing times comes slight role reversals as well leaving women to take different steps with being the initiator. A lot of times it is stereotyped that men are not always serious when it comes to dating or going after commitment, it takes them a little more time than the average woman. For women, knowing what they want is the fire under the burner which will press them to go after what it is that they want. Now most time a woman will not chase a man down but if it is something she wants and he is not moving at a decent pace, she may have a way of altering that.

 

 

Some women are very bold and love taking that first step by making the first move. Just like men, women know exactly what they want and  at times are just as bold with their approach. Men, let’s explore this a little.. Would it catch you off guard or would you be intimidated if a woman decides it is time for her to take control and would you accept the reversal of roles?

 

 

 

 

 

-C.Johnson