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Archive for the ‘Online Dating’ Category

PUFF, Where did you go?…..

Posted on: June 16th, 2017 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle


woman diaappearing

(Warning: Motivating but real!!!)


At first, it seemed like a fairy tale. Romantic dates, long phone conversations, a beautiful ring, a gorgeous wedding, and a home you loved. He completely changed your life: new friends, new activities, new restaurants, even a new zip code. You did almost everything he suggested because it made you happy to make him happy. But now, despite your best efforts, your relationship is in trouble. You have no idea how you got so far off track and no clue how to figure out what’s best for you. You aren’t even sure who you are anymore.


Here are a few ways to find you again!!!


#1.  If you’re still in the relationship, talk to your partner. If you believe that your own needs and preferences consistently take a backseat to your partner’s, your first step should be to share your concerns with him. Remember, nothing will change if you don’t voice your feelings, which your partner might not be aware of. His response will tell you a lot about the current health (and perhaps the future) of your relationship. 


You may be worried that stating your position will offend your partner or drive him away. But that’s a risk you have to take for the sake of your own mental and emotional well-being. The best case scenario is, of course, that your partner makes a conscious effort to meet you halfway and invest more in your interests and priorities. If that’s not what happens, though, you may need to reconsider the relationship.


#2. Stop walking on egg shells your partner. eggshells walking

If you’re in a relationship, the idea of ending it can be incredibly painful. So consciously or unconsciously, you may find yourself fixating on your partner’s positive qualities and downplaying his hurtful or unhealthy behaviors. Even after the relationship has ended, you might look back with nostalgia.


But it’s important to be honest about that person’s flaws. Otherwise, you run the risk of believing that your partner is perfect and blaming all of the relationship’s problems on yourself, which can be fatal to your self-esteem.


#3. Pay attention to how you’re feeling. In our hectic, mile-a-minute, on-the-go world, many of us are so busy and preoccupied that we don’t take the time to really check in with ourselves and how we’re feeling. Too often, it takes a major event (a health scare, an anxiety attack, or “yes!”the dissolution of a relationship) to wake us up to the fact that our lives are unhealthy and off track.


That’s why it’s so important to keep your finger on the pulse of your emotions and intuition. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, get into the habit of asking yourself, How does this mesh with my values? Am I honoring myself and my goals? Am I being authentic, or am I calibrating my words and actions to please someone else? When you’re more in tune with yourself, you’ll be in a position to make small adjustments when you first notice that you’re feeling off,  making it much less likely that you’ll wake up one day wondering, How did I get to this place, and what happened to my life?


#4. Making the cut. Ignoring a bad situation or a less-than-ideal reality won’t make it go away. If you’ve lost yourself in love, sooner or later you’ll have to make hard decisions like:



Do I move out? Is this relationship officially over? Should I cut off contact? If hanging on isn’t healthy, be honest with yourself. Remember, your long-term well-being may require (and is worth!) short-term pain.


#5. Stay close to (or reconnect with) your family and friends. When you lose yourself in love, it’s common to drift away from family and friends. Maybe you’ve been focused primarily on your partner and haven’t invested much in other people, or perhaps you’ve purposefully put distance between yourself and loved ones who questioned the wisdom of your relationship. Whatever the reason, it’s time to reconnect and repair any damage that’s been done.


The people who love you and who have known you for years will keep you grounded and remind you of who you are!!!


#6. Be full of yourself–It’s all about you. date yourself


Start doing activities solo, too! Go grocery shopping, see a movie, take a walk in the park, or go to a worship service with only yourself.  If you want to reclaim your life after losing yourself in love, you must learn to be confident and comfortable on your own.


OK… enough of the uplifting….food for the soul. Lets get down to the Nitty- Gritty!!!!


#7The number (seven) in biblical terms means: completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things.


Now its time to …DATE LIKE YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND….. Become a player of the game and not subject to the game…  Date the not so attractive singles, cute singles, singles with one leg, 4 eyed singles, wealthy singles, broke singles, corny singles..


Bring them on…… Remember this is a selfish act, which is all about you, not anyone else. However, you must be honest with anyone you meet, that you are just going out to have fun. NO feelings, No connection and No remorse. 


The point of serial dating is not about finding a mate, but will do 3 things:

a) Kick lonely’s butt…. kick lonley butt


b) It will make you get beautified…. beauty in you


c) Makes time fly by…..time flying


You deserve this; and never fill guilty about-making it all about you.. Besides, remember God will bring you the best, so, in the meantime while your dating (HAVE FUN). If someone is the “one” he will surely reveal himself..


These tools and experiences will force you to stand on your own two feet, give you the tools to live instead of just exist, and to focus on and invest in yourself.


You are already equipped with everything you need and if you need us, we are always here, so just do!!!!


Sex Over 40… Does it Get Greater?

Posted on: August 22nd, 2014 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

Over 40


Marie K. From The Bay, was asked? What is Great about sex over 40?



1. I know how to ask for it. I have given up doing the “getting warmer” noises leading to specific instructions. Similarly, at this age you can be totally honest during sex, as in, “You are joking, I can’t bend over there,” or “Whoops”.

2. In general, I say what I’m thinking in the bedroom. For example, “Do we actually have to, I am so tired? Shall we make time tomorrow instead and do it without fail?”

If you were young and impressionable you might think that this was unromantic, but it’s actually fantastic. When people talk about honesty in the relationship, this is definitely what they mean.


3. I can laugh about it when I get cramp/get stuck etc. Obviously I always laughed about it… but now there no self-doubt lurking in the background, and the mild suspicion that he might be thinking, “Yikes, she’s a bit clumsy/heavy/unfit.”


4. After the age of 40 you are just more self-possessed. This gives you the aura of a woman with hidden depths rather than a callow girl who does not yet know who she really is – which, in turn, intrigues men and makes them work harder.


5. Women get increasingly open about sex – girlfriends who have never so much as mentioned it before will ask, “Have you tried this? You really should. But not on top speed.”


6. I don’t need to analyze it. When you’re over 40 you realise sex is sex and, quite often, it is just for sex’s sake and means absolutely nothing. Just as having a couple of nights off doesn’t mean he no longer loves you.


7. Chances are that he’s roughly your age, and that means he’s: a) More experienced; b) Genuinely likes women or he would be sleeping with a 28-year-old, and c) He’s taking life a little bit slower. All of which are good for sex.


8. I don’t need to talk afterwards to feel reassured. Frequently, I’d rather not chat afterwards, and I don’t need to speak before.


9. I tend to go to bed a bit earlier so, sometimes, you can be having sex before midnight and be relatively sober. This is unheard of in your youth and throughout most of your thirties – and sex is definitely better without room spin.


10. You can be the selective-type after (40). Your options are broader. I think I’m more attractive than I was ten years ago. This may be to do with losing my insecurities, but it’s also about things that have come together in my life.




Share Your Thoughts, Does it get better after 40?


San Jose woman loses over $500,000 in online dating scam

Posted on: January 26th, 2014 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

San Jose woman loses over $500,000 in online dating scam

Thursday, January 16, 2014

SAN JOSE, Calif. (KGO) — A woman who lost hundreds of thousands of dollars in an online search for love is telling her story exclusively to ABC7 News. She wants to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else. It’s a story you’ll see Only On 7.


The victim is in her 60s and is divorced. She was looking for companionship and she thought she met a nice man online, but he was a crook. She’s putting her embarrassment aside to try and prevent another person from falling prey.

“This individual seemed very interested in my life situations,” she said. “Came across as a strong Christian person, prayed with me.”


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This woman does not want to be identified. But you don’t need to know who she is to learn from what happened to her.

She started communicating with a man on the dating website Christian Mingle. Emails, instant messages, even phone calls. He seemed like a catch.


“I got stranded in a city with a dead battery and this individual stayed with me, I believe it was 90 minutes making sure I was safe cause he said he wouldn’t want no woman of his to ever be in a situation without help,” she said.


But then he asked for money. At first it was a few thousand dollars for his daughter’s tuition. She wanted to help and tried to be smart about it, getting bank account info and paperwork on all the transactions.

Ultimately she gave him more than $500,000. Much of the money came from the victim’s retirement account and was obtained by refinancing her home. Thankfully, someone in her life intervened and they went to authorities.

Santa Clara Deputy District Attorney Cheri Bourlard was on her case.


“We all want to trust one another,” Bourlard said. “I know in the olden days we used to do business on a handshake. That’s just not possible anymore, not with international crimes that are going on.”


She says these so-called “sweetheart scams” are happening more and more on dating websites. Bottom line — never give money to someone you haven’t met in person.

The bad guys don’t make it easy. Our victim says he sent gifts and isolated her from loved ones, telling her no one would understand what they had.

“They will come across as someone who is caring, loving,” she said. “They will find where you’re vulnerable and leverage that for their own good. I want the public to be careful. If it seems too good to be true, it’s probably fraudulent.”

Ninety-nine percent of the money is gone and no one is arrested. However, in a rare twist in this case, authorities were able to intervene in time to alert a Turkish bank about the last wire transfer of $200,000.


An associate of the Nigerian suspect was arrested trying to get the money and our victim got the $200,000 back; less than half of what she lost.


Original Article: published by  abclocal.go.com


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dating for fun

5 benefits to using a Professional Matchmaker:


 Professional matchmakers are experts in the field of helping people find love. They get to know you one-on-one, coordinate dates and guide you through the process of finding the right relationship.  
Trust. Matchmakers make it their business to get to know you: your wants, needs and desires. It is important for them to establish trust so that you feel comfortable communicating all your wishes. 
Privacy. Your matchmaker will only introduce you to people you’re interested in and will not release your contact information or photo to anyone without your permission. By using a matchmaker, no one – not your boss, your ex, or your family members–will know you are looking for a mate unless, of course, you tell them.
Safety. No one wants to meet a perfect stranger. Your matchmaker has spoken with, met and checked the references of everyone you are introduced to. Because of this, you can explore romance without fear or worry.
Personalized Service. Your matchmaker gets to know YOU and based on your unique personality, lifestyle, likes, dislikes and values, understands exactly who will be a suitable and rewarding match. 
Time Saver. You don’t have to spend countless hours browsing thousands of online profiles, writing dozens of introduction emails and spending the evening alone when a promising prospect doesn’t show up for a date. Your matchmaker takes care of all the details for you allowing you to save your energy for the actual date.