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THE MAIN WOMAN vs. THE OTHER WOMAN

Posted on: June 5th, 2016 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

cheating

 

 

Determining if your partner is cheating may not always be as cut and dry as simply waiting for naked people to jump out of your bedroom closet. However, if you suspect that your partner may be cheating, researchers have identified several things that you can look for to confirm (or refute) your suspicions.

~There are two types of infidelity: emotional and sexual. If your partner is talking a lot about spending time with someone else (with whom you think they would consider having a relationship) or acting apathetic toward you, these behaviors may indicate either type of infidelity.
Common signs that you may be the other woman:

 

 

1. He only calls you after 11pm. Let’s face it, if he can’t call you doing normal business hours, you are not his woman. If the only time he can pick up the phone (or text) you is doing standard booty call hours you have to ask yourself who he’s calling when he’s not calling you.

 

 

2. The only time he calls is when he wants sex. Regardless of the hour of day he’s calling, if the only time he calls is when he’s looking for a little bedroom action, well he may like your lady parts but he definitely doesn’t like you.

 

 

3. You haven’t met any of his friends and family. If a guy is really into a chick he’s going to (eventually) introduce her to friends and family. At the very least his friends and family will be aware that you exist. If you’ve never met anyone who is close to him, there is a good reason why and it’s not one that’s good for you.

 

 

4. He never takes you out. If the only thing he wants to do is hang out at the house and he never takes you out or attempts to take you out, there’s a reason for that. Believe me if he’s not taking you out, there’s a good chance that he ‘s out with someone else. And even if he’s not dating someone else, his unwillingness to take you out is a good sign that he hasn’t any real interest in you. You are definitely not his woman.

 

 

5. You don’t know how he spends his time when he’s not with you. If you’re clueless about how he spends his time when he’s not with you, then you don’t know him and if you don’t know him, you’re not his woman. If you ask him, “what did you do today,” and his answers are always vague, well just assume he was doing things (or spending time with someone) he doesn’t want you to know about. And if that is the case…well…you’re better off finding another man ’cause the one you have isn’t yours.

 

2 woman
Clues that your partner may be engaging in emotional infidelity include indications that your partner is unsatisfied with your relationship; reluctance to discuss a specific person; emotional disengagement; increased anger, guilt, anxiety, or hostility; and not wanting to spend time with you (of course, many of these signs may just mean that he is just not as interested in being in a relationship with you, the same way you would want to be in a relationship with him.
Indicators that your partner may be engaging in sexual infidelity include changes in the partner’s normal routine & changes in sexual interest. Women tend to be more sensitive to these cues, suggesting that they are more adept at monitoring for and identifying infidelity. Again, however, a very large and important caveat here is that these behaviors only suggest—and do not guarantee—that cheating is occurring.
Of course, in an ideal situation suspicions about a partner’s activities would not involve a private investigator-like monitoring. Instead, the best course of action is to build a strong relationship founded on trust and open communication where any doubts about fidelity lead to open conversations rather than a hunt for evidence. If if makes you think twice, maybe there is a reason to dig deeper. However, be wise, pay attention to the signs and don’t jump to conclusions!

 

 

Share Your Thoughts?

 

 

 

Pain is Pleasure and Pleasure is Pain

Posted on: August 28th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

FDateDistraction

What happens when you are caught in a trap that you couldn’t even foresee. You are no longer free and full of life because you have become a distraction and not just any distraction but that of a person who was caught in bad place, in search of anything or something to fill this empty space.

 The lines were crossed, you tried putting them in their place and sticking to your decision but slowly as water defeats an eroding rock, your tough exterior begins to wither away and you become very soft and open to different suggestions.

 Tried to be a good confidant and friend to lift them up in the time of need and vulnerability but now who will care for you in this time of need. After your heart is tampered and toyed with, leaving your emotions lost and wandering, where do you turn. You weren’t just trapped into the idea of being a distraction but in the end your emotions may have gotten the best of you.

Kamikaze

Posted on: July 11th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

6438012f_couples-lovers-proposing-dark-photography (2)

 

 

Kamikaze love….

 

 

In too deep from the jump

 

 

I have placed my all, my everything

 

 

Laid out for us both

 

 

 

I just want you to see the feelings that lie deep inside of a tough shell

 

 

 

I want you to know everything because this is my last and final love

 

 

 

If I’m diving in there is not coming back

 

 

 

Either we stay here together or I’ll disappear forever

 

 

 

No more breakups to makeups

 

 

 

I’m done with wanting and yearning

 

 

 

I love loving you, I love us but if it ever ends

 

 

 

 

There is no more love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-C.Johnson

Meeting the Parents – When, Where, How?

Posted on: March 12th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

You’re in a serious and committed relationship with your partner. So now, when is it appropriate to introduce your significant other to your parents?

 

Honestly, I can’t say that there’s a certain time frame. It depends on your gut feeling and when your partner is open and comfortable with meeting your parents. Forcing your parents or your significant other to meet each other may not end well because of anxiety, awkwardness or they may just not be prepared.

 

Some couples may be faster than other couples but every couple is different so one cannot base it on what other couples choose to do. Some tips would be to make sure that each person is in a comfortable environment (if your parents are more of the make-dinner-at-home-for-everyone type, then invite your partner over to their house for a nice dinner!), prepare and give advance warning for both your parents and your partner, and some tips for both parties would not be a bad idea either.

 

What were some of your experiences? Have you had any good stories or tips to tell? Let us know!

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Beautiful No Matter What!

Posted on: March 9th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

First of all, happy international women’s day! (Even though women should be celebrated everyday..)

 

Self-image… sometimes when someone looks in the mirror, he or she sees a completely different image than in reality. Some people are never satisfied with how their body looks and are self-conscious. I can honestly say that sometimes I am unhappy with my body but I am so grateful for my amazing friends who help me and realize that I am beautiful no matter what. I dance at least 3 times a week and I don’t gorge on food… I’ve recently given up eating so much meat/eating meat at all and I would call myself healthy. You definitely cannot end up having a healthy body in a few days but you can start RIGHT NOW!

 

No matter what you may think of your body, you should realize that you are a beautiful and amazing person no matter what. If you are! It’s extremely hard for some people to realize that but reminders every so often doesn’t hurt either. If you are with someone who doesn’t realize that or let you know that he or she thinks you are beautiful/amazing/great sometimes, then let me tell you that you DESERVE BETTER. You deserve someone who will make you feel beautiful, even with no makeup or hair products, at any time of day. Don’t settle for less!

 

Just remember that you are beautiful, an amazing person and be proud of who you are! love

Stop! Before You End the Relationship, Ask…

Posted on: March 5th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

Before you end a relationship with someone, STOP! Ask yourself these questions first to make sure you’re thinking about it clearly and completely. I know sometimes you have to believe that gut feeling you have but there is also no harm in taking the time to think about something 100%!

 

Here are a few questions you should ask yourself (or you could even diaglogue with someone you trust as well) before you end a relationship.

 

1) Does my partner abuse me, physically and/or emotionally? If the answer is “yes”, then get out of the relationship. Any abuse in any relationship is not worth it, no matter how many times the abuser apologizes and swears that he or she will never do it again.
2) Do I wish that things/problems/issues could be worked out? If you have some doubts or any thoughts that you want to stay in this relationship, then maybe the solution is not to end  the relationship but to find other solutions instead. Maybe if there are some key problems, you can try to solve them with your problems. If it still does not end up well, at least you know that you gave it your all.
3) Do I truly communicate? Communication is so important in a relationship. Truly listening to your partner can actually be harder than you think. You have to focus on what they are saying and understand their opinions/thoughts/feelings. Sometimes your mind may wander off to what your response should be but you really have to focus your attention on what your partner is saying to effectively communicate. For a healthy relationship, the couple needs to learn how to listen and speak to each other in an effective way.
4) Have I talked to my partner about the problems in our relationship? Sometimes people would rather avoid the problems instead of communicating and compromising about it. Couples end up fighting over the most trivial and little things because of the build-up and frustration from the underlying and unresolved issues.
5) Has our trust in each other changed? Anything can happen. A possible scenario is that maybe your partner cheated on you. That can lead to trust issues and sometimes the cheated on person just cannot trust the other again. Both people in the relationship have to be willing to work together to build the trust between them again.
6) Are you able to forgive each other? Holding grudges may seem like it’ll be helpful to you in the moment but they are nothing more than destructive. If your partner is unable to forgive you for something and keeps bringing it up to hoard over you, then that relationship is not going to keep going.

 

 

Hopefully these questions will have opened your mind and/or helped you. I know this has broadened my mind. Think before you act!

think before u act2

Reality vs. Expectations

Posted on: February 23rd, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle 79 Comments

Have you ever seen 500 Days of Summer? You would think that is is just like another romantic comedy movie but right from the beginning, Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) lets you know that this is not a love story. It is the complete opposite. The great thing about this movie is that it actually mirrors a real-life situation! 

Tom has a crush on a coworker, Summer (played by Zooey Deschanel). They end up being a couple and there’s even a great dance sequence where Tom is so happy with his life. They start drifting apart and you begin to notice that Summer is pulling away from him, literally and metaphorically. Summer breaks it off with him and Tom pines for her, even months later. There’s this amazing scene (one of my personal favorites) where he is invited to a party of hers. It’s the same scene but one side is “Expectation” where he imagines that Summer greets him, they’re good friends, laughing and spending time with each other. Next to it is “Reality” where he is greeted by Summer but it turns awkward and he ends up spending more time alone rather than with Summer.

Even though it’s not the typical rom-com (aka romantic comedy), this movie is made around the reality of a possible outcome of a relationship! It takes on a darker and less-seen side of a relationship, especially in movies. I love how it’s veered towards this rather than a typical rom-com.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I recommend it!

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