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Stop! Before You End the Relationship, Ask…

Posted on: March 5th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

Before you end a relationship with someone, STOP! Ask yourself these questions first to make sure you’re thinking about it clearly and completely. I know sometimes you have to believe that gut feeling you have but there is also no harm in taking the time to think about something 100%!

Here are a few questions you should ask yourself (or you could even diaglogue with someone you trust as well) before you end a relationship.

1) Does my partner abuse me, physically and/or emotionally? If the answer is “yes”, then get out of the relationship. Any abuse in any relationship is not worth it, no matter how many times the abuser apologizes and swears that he or she will never do it again.
2) Do I wish that things/problems/issues could be worked out? If you have some doubts or any thoughts that you want to stay in this relationship, then maybe the solution is not to end the relationship but to find other solutions instead. Maybe if there are some key problems, you can try to solve them with your problems. If it still does not end up well, at least you know that you gave it your all.
3) Do I truly communicate? Communication is so important in a relationship. Truly listening to your partner can actually be harder than you think. You have to focus on what they are saying and understand their opinions/thoughts/feelings. Sometimes your mind may wander off to what your response should be but you really have to focus your attention on what your partner is saying to effectively communicate. For a healthy relationship, the couple needs to learn how to listen and speak to each other in an effective way.
4) Have I talked to my partner about the problems in our relationship? Sometimes people would rather avoid the problems instead of communicating and compromising about it. Couples end up fighting over the most trivial and little things because of the build-up and frustration from the underlying and unresolved issues.
5) Has our trust in each other changed? Anything can happen. A possible scenario is that maybe your partner cheated on you. That can lead to trust issues and sometimes the cheated on person just cannot trust the other again. Both people in the relationship have to be willing to work together to build the trust between them again.
6) Are you able to forgive each other? Holding grudges may seem like it’ll be helpful to you in the moment but they are nothing more than destructive. If your partner is unable to forgive you for something and keeps bringing it up to hoard over you, then that relationship is not going to keep going.

Hopefully these questions will have opened your mind and/or helped you. I know this has broadened my mind. Think before you act!

Reality vs. Expectations

Posted on: February 23rd, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle 79 Comments

Have you ever seen 500 Days of Summer? You would think that is is just like another romantic comedy movie but right from the beginning, Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) lets you know that this is not a love story. It is the complete opposite. The great thing about this movie is that it actually mirrors a real-life situation!

Tom has a crush on a coworker, Summer (played by Zooey Deschanel). They end up being a couple and there’s even a great dance sequence where Tom is so happy with his life. They start drifting apart and you begin to notice that Summer is pulling away from him, literally and metaphorically. Summer breaks it off with him and Tom pines for her, even months later. There’s this amazing scene (one of my personal favorites) where he is invited to a party of hers. It’s the same scene but one side is “Expectation” where he imagines that Summer greets him, they’re good friends, laughing and spending time with each other. Next to it is “Reality” where he is greeted by Summer but it turns awkward and he ends up spending more time alone rather than with Summer.

Even though it’s not the typical rom-com (aka romantic comedy), this movie is made around the reality of a possible outcome of a relationship! It takes on a darker and less-seen side of a relationship, especially in movies. I love how it’s veered towards this rather than a typical rom-com.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I recommend it!

Do You Have A LDR?

Posted on: February 17th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

LDR, meaning long distance relationship, of course! So, are you involved in a LDR?

Or maybe you want to look for a possible relationship in a different state… different country maybe? Hey, don’t knock it till you try it, right?… I personally foresee some obstacles but it could be turn out to be the adventure of your life to find the love of your life.

While browsing the Internet, I found this article that helps you keep in touch with your love across the ocean and will keep you from racking up your phone bill. Download these apps for your phone that were created specially for a more intimate environment!

1) Couple (free!): This app is geared towards couples because you can only choose one other “pair” with who you share a timeline with- you can post video messages, chat, drawings and/or photos. When you are both on the app at the same time, you can even “ThumbKiss” which is a genius feature where you can touch the screen exactly where your partner is, making both phones vibrate. Clever!
2) Skype (also free!): You can either call, instant message or video chat. It’s free for laptops, tablets and even phones! It’s better than using up your cell phone minutes! ;) However, your partner does have to be signed up on Skype for the call to be free; otherwise, there is $$ involved.
3) WhatsApp Messenger (free is the magic word!): This app is a cross-platform messenger that works across all smartphones. For example, if you have an iPhone with iMessage but your partner does not, you can’t send emoticons but this app, WhatsApp, lets you! Video, voice notes and images are also included for the low price of FREE!
4) Cartolina (costs $2 but not too bad!): Use this e-card app as an email or text message alternative. Cartolina also provides beautiful and vintage-inspired “cartogram” designs for your messages. This app also syncs with your calendar, so it reminds you of birthdays or anniversaries or other important dates that involve your partner.

I thought this article was a great idea and so helpful because I didn’t even know some of these existed to help LDRs! So useful… technology is really stepping up its game.

**I claim no credit to this article. To read more, go here: http://www.geeksugar.com/Long-Distance-Relationship-iPhone-Apps-25084471.

Don't Give Up!!

Posted on: February 14th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle 7 Comments

Happy Valentine’s Day Eve! :)

Whether or not you celebrate with a significant other, remember to have fun. If you’re currently single, gather your closest girlfriends and plan something to do together anyways! Girls’ night in or go out on the town. Remember that you love yourself and that you are surrounded with those who love you!

I have one lesson for you before V-Day strikes!

Lesson 20: Giving up and giving in: When you feel like giving up or giving in, these are signs that you may feel powerless, frustrated, undeserving or unheard by your mate. This does not mean that you should settle for less! When you settle for less, this means that your potential mate does not see that your thoughts, needs, attitudes, beliefs and wants are legitimate or necessary.

Compromise and negotiating are essential to any relationship, especially when you and/or your partner may both be stubborn in your own beliefs. However, compromise and negotiating can only happen when both persons in the relationship honor and respect each other’s thoughts, values, needs and beliefs with each person’s hopes, dreams and wants.

Don’t settle for less!!

No Limits!

Posted on: February 12th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle 8 Comments

Here’s a piece of advice for those who are single and dating: been single and dating, or have just become single and want to start dating when it’s the right time.

During your process of dating, there is not a limit of how many people you are dating or should be dating. There is no commitment until you both have decided you want to be in a relationship! You should be having fun and dating more than one person. Some dates may just be for fun while other possible dates may be for looking at a possible mate.

If there has been no limit set for you and a possible partner, then know that you are not limited and feel free to date whoever you want. Dating should be a fun time and a period in your life where you explore different situations and network with people! There is no rush to get into a relationship with the first man or woman you end up dating. However, when you and a man or woman have successfully finished the “getting-to-know-each-other” period, set that limit if you both only want to date one another.

Get out there! Dive in head-first. Keep an open mind and push yourself! Have fun and enjoy your carefree dating phase!

date1

Love quotes discussed, #4

Posted on: February 9th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle 10 Comments

“Love is like an earthquake- unpredictable, a little scary, but when the hard part is over, you realize how lucky you truly are.”

True. I think that in relationships, you will always have some arguments or hard times but if you just stay honest and open-minded because you really do love someone, the good times will overpower the bad times. Trust me, you will be glad that you persevered through them. (Unless he or she treats you badly and not at all how you deserve, then drop him or her. You deserve someone who loves you and treats you right!)

Just remember that even if you do get into a bad argument, there is a reason why you are with that person. For whatever reason that is (love… etc.), you always have to keep in your mind that you cannot just give up and sometimes you may have to compromise your opinions because you may want to be right all the time but that may be giving off a horrible vibe to the other person. Just keep pushing and remember that saying sorry doesn’t mean that you were wrong but it means that you love them.

Love at first sight?

Posted on: February 9th, 2013 by Executive Matchmaker Romella Battle

It’s a question that comes up often. So do you believe in love at first sight? Personally, I know some people do not believe in love at first sight, but rather attraction at first sight. There are people who do not believe in fate and destiny, there are those who acknowledge it but do not believe strongly in it and there are those who believe in it passionately.

Personally, I am one who does believe in fate, destiny and love at first sight. I’m not headstrong on it but I do believe that there is someone for everybody and that everything happens for a reason. Attraction at first sight? Definitely! Love at first sight? That’s more complicated because I feel like “love at first sight” stems from attraction at first sight.

This article that I found is called “Love at first sight, or in half a second”*. It basically talks about how quickly a person is pulled towards physical attractiveness when looking for a potential mate or when being protective of their current mate from other rivals. The article speaks about how the team found out that people are drawn towards attractive faces within the very first half-second of seeing them before even thinking about a possible mate or rival. They accomplished this finding by testing some university students, showing them pictures of either extremely attractive people or average-looking people for one second. By their reaction time, the team was able to discover that half a second is really all that is needed to decide if someone is attractive to the person or not. There are advantages and disadvantages of the study but if you want to read more, I have linked the article below!

The article definitely captured my attention since there is that popular question of if one believes in love at first sight. There’s so many different responses and explanations for their answers because there is definitely not just one correct answer.

So what do you think? Do you believe in love in first sight?

first sight
*http://www.reuters.com/article/2007/09/18/us-beauty-attraction-idUSN1844443620070918